considering insubordination

Too many times I have sat,
thinking of something to say,
looking for some excuse to talk to you .
Too many times I have had one,
but the opportunity just passed me right by .
Too many times you were right there,
but I just couldn't find the strength to stop .
Too many days have gone by without the comfort of your voice .
Too many words have gone unspoken .
Too many conversations have gone to waste .
Too many glances have lost their substance .
Too many smiles have been misdirected .
Too many morals have been misguided .
Too many thoughts have been pushed out of the way .
Too many meetings have been postponed .
Too many silences have been misinterpreted .
Too many hints have gone unnoticed .
Too many times you have ignored me .
Too many promises have been forgotten;
not broken, but even worse, lost in translation .
All I want is to have one normal day, with you as the epicentre .