a shortcut to destruction

" Pick Your Poison " Picture Plethora :
The Seventh Helping [ from yesterday ]

1000 .
1000 dea7hs . More specifically,
1000 suic1des .
1000 times he has k1lled himself .
1000 .

He finally made that milestone,
that one last desperate measure .
He finally had his one last cry .
Or at least he thought so .

He had tried to brush it off,
to act like this was nothing more
than just another one of those everyday problems .
He had tried to forgive and forget,
and he had failed .

And he had a feeling she had as well .

And yet when he finally surrendered
to the forces of nature,
to the ties that had held him down,
bound him in place, for all that time,
he found it no less futile than his previous attempts .

He had tried a different approach this time,
he had tried not to bother her with his trifling emotions .
And they ended up being too much for him to handle .

No matter how much he pretended not to care,
he knew he would not, could not, ever stop caring .
And he had come to accept that this is the way it had to be .

No matter how much he tried to make sense,
to work these things out,
to untangle the knots that had stifled the rope of his life,
he always found that he had only been making them tighter .

And no matter how much he let out,
there was still so much more he had yet to tell,
so much more he kept bottled up inside,
because there was never enough time
to tell her everything he felt for her .

And no matter how much he tried to divert the pain,
he could not help but continually turn this into a love story .

And no matter how much he ha7ed himself,
he continued to act as if nothing had ever gone wrong .

And no matter how long he went on about it,
he could not stop saying the same exact things .

And no matter how many times he thought he had started over,
he found that he was still on the same path
he had walked from the beginning .

And he had started over, over and over and over and over
and over and over and over and over and over and over
again .

Maybe he could not persuade himself to stop trying .
Maybe they were unknowingly egging him on,
with their words, with their actions, with the way they look at him .

Maybe they were responsible for another 9,682 of his dea7hs .
( A whole nine more than last time ! )
Maybe they should reconsider what they mean to him .

The man with no fears is a foolhardy one .