to pretend the world will still accept you

Happy Mothers' Day, y'all .

Don't forget to give her the love she deserves,
but which you have always failed to afford her .

~~~~~

I have learned that saying you're sorry often is not the answer .
Apology does little more than make you feel weak .

But I will give you the benefit
of hearing me say, or at least reading that I have writ,
that you were right
and I was wrong .

You were right .
I was wrong .

I do not usually speak such words,
but now they feel meaningful .
SO meaningful .

I did not have the right .
We did not have the history .
You did not have the patience .

I was out of line,
and so much so
that I couldn't even see the line anymore .

I am not sorry .
I made a mistake,
and it was for the better .
There is nothing wrong with that .

I realize that things
will never be the same,
and I am thankful
you kept it that way .

It would be a waste of time
to regret having made them different .

" Speak when you're angry,
and you'll make the best speech
you'll ever regret . "
~ Laurence J . Peter ~

~~~~~

To cry, is to release your hold on reality,
and to forget you ever had dreams .
It is to forgive your temper,
and to empty your heart of grievances .
It is to pretend the world will still accept you,
and to imagine yourself another chance .

One by one by one by one by
one by one by one by one by
one by one by one by one by
one by one by one by one by
one, all of my ties to reality
are breaking down .
The knots are loosening,
and I can feel myself
losing,
losing my grip,
falling,
falling back into wherever I was
seventeen months ago .
That can't happen,
can't happen .
I will not allow it .

This can't be happening .

Ostensible = ( from Tundra ) " having an intention
that is possibly but not obviously true "
= me and my blog .