there's something in these words i missed before i failed you

Where is that life I once truly believed I had ?
Where is that purpose I once held so close to me ?
Where is that confidence I seem to have lost ?
Where is that question I wanted to answer ?
Where is that security I once took for granted ?
Where is that reason I once knew for sure was justified ?
Where is that sense of identity I didn't have to keep an eye on ?
Where is that goal I once strived to achieve ?
Where is that rhythm I could once keep in tact ?
Where is that balance I once could sustain ?
Where is that character I could always count on ?
Where is that boy I knew, who was justly afraid of others ?

Who is this personage now, who is dea7hly afraid of himself ?

" Have I ever given you reason not to trust me ? "
~ Captain Jack Sparrow ~

I have said it once, and I will say it again ..
My greatest fear is that I will finally get what I have always wanted,
and will realize I really don't want it anymore .
Well, at least now I can be sure I won't have to face that feeling .
I'll count on it .

the end is near .